## Harvard girl

My QQ Browser home page content recommendation engine gave me some news about this “Harvard girl,” who created some sensation around 1999 in China for her admission to Harvard. Her mom ended up writing and publishing some book on that that sold well.

That news article mentioned that that girl, despite her saying that she would return to 报效祖国 (contribute to the mother country), she ended staying in America and getting US citizenship. Maybe perhaps likely she also married a white guy. There was a photo of her with a white guy in it.

As for the comments, there were maybe over a thousand. The ones with the most upvotes were mostly negative from what I remember. Of course, it’s statistically speaking quite hard for Chinese to immigrate to America. For most Chinese, it’s basically a dream. I was very fortunate in that my family actually got the green card relatively quickly and smoothly, without engaging in anything that could be truly regarded as the spineless behavior that you see in many Chinese in America, though of course, in that regard, you can always do better, but that of course, depends much on your ability. Basically, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to stay and if you aren’t and have to return to China, you will feel like a failure, and likely your prospects back in China won’t be all that great either. To the majority of native Chinese, the attitude towards the emigrants and the emigrants-in-trial (those without the green card) is one of a combination of envy and contempt, or actually, maybe more like apathy since those people are so far removed from the majority of the Chinese population. Some native Chinese guy when I mentioned the term “banana-man” was even like, “what is that?” I guess back in the late 90s, it was much more of envy, but now it’s much more of contempt. To be fair, my attitude towards those smart but not that smart Chinese-American kids who are foreign to the Chinese language and culture is mostly one of contempt. I don’t really care much about alienating them because they don’t have any power and pretty much never will. If they really were actually really genuinely smart, they wouldn’t be that way. Even if that person has elite academic credentials, that person’s IQ can still be somewhat questioned, or more so, that person’s (and parents’) taste and judgment.

I asked this mother under age 40 in China if she knew of that Harvard girl, and she said yes. She mostly thought that that girl wasn’t terribly exceptional in talent or ability, and that at the time, information on how to get into Harvard in China was very limited, and rumor has it that some recommendation letter from this American helped. She was certainly quite lucky, but at the same time, her level of career success in America, so it seems, pretty much matches her talents. There was not all that much she could bring to China anyway.

In contrast, that mother mentioned this girl from a small place who really was exceptional at English, winning first place again and again in some competition in English public speaking in Britain. She got into Fudan with gaokao waived but because she didn’t like the major she got into that much, she entered the English department at Nanjing University. Now she’s 40 and a prominent TV news anchor in English. I asked her to send me a video and indeed her English really was exceptional. (Mine is too, but that’s another matter, and I also grew up in America so it’s not a fair comparison. It’s also not fair to compare my Chinese to those who grew up in China.) In contrast, that social climbing slut Zhang Zetian who married JD’s founder/CEO Richard Liu, her English was really meh, despite there being “Zhang Zetian English” as a search recommendation on Baidu. I believe her father who was quite rich (not ridiculously so though) had people manufacturing her image behind the scenes. I was told that her father wanted her to marry a “third generation red,” the ones who are the true elite in China as opposed to billionaires from the grassroots like Richard Liu. Rumor has it that she dated one and got dumped.

What that mother told me that really cracked me up was

Translated to English, it is

During that time, there was news of her everywhere. Her mother was really extreme. In her book, she wrote that to train her persistence, she had her grab ice blocks with her bare hands, and as a result, many braindead parents followed suit.

Like this is just absolutely fucking ridiculous. No more comment.

By the way, I also back in 2015-6 helped this Harvard girl (ethnic Chinese but not culturally Chinese at all) who won science prizes in high school prepare for coding/algorithm interviews. (I didn’t do it for free earned a little side money from that as well. I was mostly interested in meeting her at that time.) I was surprised at the gross inconsistency between her high school achievements and how little she knew about computer science as well as how slow she was to learn. Like, she kept on asking me what the difference was between a linked list and a cache. There is this interview question of simulating an LRU cache in software. I had told her that there are hardware caches as well with orders of magnitude lower latency than reading than from memory, and that really, disk -> memory -> L2 cache -> L1 cache -> register is basically a cache hierarchy. Really, caching is quite intuitively obvious. It’s like how in the home you have a small bucket for trash that you only empty to the bigger one outside when it gets full. She also couldn’t understand why quick-select was average case $O(n)$ and worst case $O(n^2)$. I explained to her that pivot operation (in quick-sort it’s the same) but she just couldn’t get it. I then told her that nobody in the fucking software or machine learning world would give a fuck about quick-select, but her reaction was one of

NOOOOOOO!!!!!! QUICKSELECT!!!!!!

What really brought me into disbelief was when she asked me for some homework problem how to compute $\int_0^{2\pi} \cos^2 x dx$ and I was like “you must be trolling.” The method I instantly thought of was using the nothing esoteric trig identity $2\cos^2 x - 1 = \cos (2x)$. It’s an obvious $1/2 \cdot 2\pi$ since the $\cos (2x)$ component is vanished by the integral by symmetry.

There is of course also noticing that by symmetry $\int_0^{2\pi} \cos^2 x dx = \int_0^{2\pi} \sin^2 x dx$. Sum the two to get $2\pi \cdot 1$ and divide by two.

I think I also told her that one can substitute $\cos x$ with $\frac{e^{ix}+e^{-ix}}{2}$, square that and integrate. Anyone who’s studied Fourier series should instantly tell that we only care about the constant coefficient, which is an obvious $2 \cdot \frac{1}{4}$.

I spoke of this case to a former Harvard PhD student from China and he was like,

Maybe she’ll eventually become director of research at Google. And write a book like Lean In.

Only then, did I learn that Lean In was some book written by Jewish Facebook exec Sheryl Sandberg who also went to Harvard. Her husband was also an exec, and my reaction to that case was basically one of

How the fuck do you die running on a treadmill. That guy must have been unusually clumsy or had some serious health problems to begin with.

## Q&A with a hybrid 3rd generation Chinese-American 4th generation Japanese-American (same person, half Chinese, half Japanese)

How Was it Like Growing Up? It is hard to describe what it was like growing up in such a family. All I can say is that I always knew I wasn’t “White”—that is, I looked different from everyone else around me; what I was instead, however, wasn’t immediately clear. I probably grew up with the most incoherent sense of identity out of anyone I know.  Most “Chinese” around me were 4th generation Chinese Americans—descendants of the railroad workers—that largely originated from Taishan and did not speak Mandarin. In fact, it was considered a bit rare to actually encounter someone of Chinese ethnicity that actually spoke Mandarin (or someone of Japanese ethnicity that spoke Japanese). No one in my family speaks Japanese or Chinese at this point (besides me) and continues to lack any sense of ethnic awareness. It was basically a cultural ghetto.

It was kind of like Luke Skywalker’s upbringing in Star Wars. Most people around Luke Skywalker were ignorant proles that lacked knowledge of anything outside the backwater in which they existed, and only Obi Wan Kenobi knew the true story. At that time, it would’ve been impossible for Luke Skywalker to know what a Jedi or Darth Vader is, because based on his life experiences up to that point (dealing with proles) he had no theoretical basis to expect a phenomenon like the Jedi, or Darth Vader. It was like that: only my grandmother, like Ben Kenobi, really knew where we were from (my mother was raised in America) but I wasn’t taught Chinese at the time and couldn’t converse with her on any meaningful level. My grandfather, the only one that had actually lived in Beijing prior to 1949, died one month before I was born. So there was a huge information bottleneck until I was able to speak with my relatives in Beijing.

How did you connect with your Chinese roots? I connected with my Chinese roots when I went to China for a study abroad program in Beijing. Many things changed me that summer—for the first time, I learned the truth about my background. You see, up until that point, I had been told a narrative of how my family was quite poor in China and that we were fortunate to have made it to America and that in general, there was a linear and upward progression of things—that is, things were becoming better over time. However, once I visited my family in China, I realized the vast majority of what my mother had told me was not true—in actuality, my grandfather came from a fairly high IQ, educated, wealthy family. We weren’t these dirt-poor peasants that had somehow become enriched by having been in America, but the complete opposite! Actually, my grandfather was educated in English and had a higher quality education than I did. Anyways, this was something that I wasn’t able to tell people when I came back, because 1) People generally don’t want to acknowledge inconvenient information and 2) it’s the complete antithesis to the American dream. So, up until now, I have only told this story to people with similar narratives, most of whom don’t live in the United States.

How did you react to the alternative viewpoints by family in China? So, the alternative outlooks provided by my family in Beijing were definitely the spark that lit the fire. Of course, at that point in time, I knew that I enjoyed the experience of being with my relatives in Beijing, but I couldn’t pinpoint why. Usually in the course of life, we encounter some intuition and phenomenon and are later reassured of its existence through other people’s validation. For example, if I go to Japan, see that it’s clean and this observation corresponds with what other people are saying and have written about the topic, I can be sure that my experiences match reality. Yet, with my time in Beijing, the overwhelming majority of people I spoke to did not come to the same conclusion. Everyone kept on saying America was the best, the rest of the world was worse. My experiences simply didn’t fit the standard narrative regarding the way the world worked, and everyone that I had been told knew more than me about the way the world worked was continually denying my intuitions. As such, I thought I was seeing things for a while. However, a couple of things later validated my experience: first, I uncovered a trove of politically incorrect writings that corresponded with the reasons as to why I was emotionally unsatisfied by the American experience. Second, the outcome of the 2016 elections was predicted by many on the blogosphere. What this meant that I was not seeing things, but rather a sizable amount of the population agreed with me—they just weren’t, and still aren’t, permitted to voice what they actually think in public. It was one of the most validating experiences of my lifetime.

Why Against Liberalism? Liberalism has caused me and my family to engage in suboptimal decision making for a really long time. The ideals of egalitarianism and equality, in particular, have led to some disastrous consequences. The decision, for example, for my mother to marry into my dad’s family was premised on the idea of equality and that all humans really are created equal. The decision of our parents to send us to public high school and intentionally surround us with the dregs of society was based on the idea that anyone can be anything. It’s simply impossible for anyone to engage in any rational decision-making if they continue to delude themselves.

Asian-Americans As time goes on, I start to feel less in common with “Asian-Americans’: for one, I think the term “Asian-American” has a very hollow meaning. Basically, it’s someone that “looks yellow” and may or may not have an understanding of where they were before America. By this logic, Chinese, Japanese and Koreans are the same.  This is horse shit. To the extent that there’s any commonality amongst the people commonly understood to be “Asian-Americans”, it’s that they’ve all shed any vestiges of their own traditional culture, and the common culture between them is basically mainstream popular trash culture. I have found that it’s never a good idea to bond with people over being in the same shitty situation. I’ve also noticed that the shittier the situation is for Asian-Americans, the shittier they are to each-other. I noticed this especially in the Northeast, where Asians have less political power and are incredibly combative with each other. I find it really hard to want to cooperate with others in environments like that.

## My personal experience with Stanford University

Lately it’s kind of difficult not to have heard of this. I first learned of it through WeChat (somebody posted it on Moments) I believe. And a few days ago I was talking with someone (call her X) about how social class is about culture and social connections, not money. On this, an adult who I had spoken with on this matter had responded with something like, “many of those 暴发户 (nouveau rich) thought they could buy themselves into American society but after trying (and failing) they were deeply disappointed.” There was also a time when an extremely high IQ (but idiot ABC who can’t even speak Chinese) MIT student was telling me about how if I became a billionaire, I could buy my way into the Chinese elite. He has no idea what he’s talking about, and even more ironic is how this is coming from an ABC who can’t even speak Chinese. Anyhow, X also responded with this Yusi Zhao case, which is frankly quite embarrassing for both China and Stanford.

## Revisiting quotes of ChinaSuperpower after some time in China

I’ve been busy busy busy quite exhausted but weekend gives me a chance to wind down a bit. So I went over the VPN to read again some quotes of ChinaSuperpower on Reddit.

I’m from a technical background but unlike many especially from the Chinese diaspora STEM community in US, I’m not exactly entirely apolitical and I do not try to pretend that national and racial boundaries can be traversed unlike many an idiotic Western or Westernized liberal. Segregation per race is natural for humans and miscegenation, hybrid vigor notwithstanding, I see as for the most part quite corrosive if not socially and culturally destructive. As the Chinese saying goes, 人以群分物以类聚. I was and still is a quantitative nerd and used to hang out with mostly those types naturally but many of them are just 书呆子 with pretty low political awareness and then again naturally I don’t want to be exposed too much towards that aspect of them. Like, I will respect a high IQ banana for his technical prowess but I will disdain him somewhat socially and treat him with some degree of suspicion.

On the other hand, ChinaSuperpower is a lawyer as he has written on Reddit. He doesn’t care all that much about pure technical ability and puts the political side before the professional side. He doesn’t want to hear more about cases of highly successful Chinese STEM diaspora and he has a very high standard when it comes to ethnic/tribal affiliation. Being a lawyer he’s obviously had to deal with much more cutthroat behavior than people in technical fields. A political big fish in the latter is merely average in the former so the standard is very different.

I’ll say that with direct exposure and experience I can better understand where he’s coming from with his words.

## 微信转发给我的文章“美国是天堂吗？一个资产过亿中国人移民美国6年后的自白！“

I’ll further comment that having been in it from first grade through university the American school environment seems very effective at culturally cleansing those of Chinese descent as was done to that person’s kid despite his having done up to sixth grade in China. It is indeed 非常可怕, and again I did what I could resist the cleansing.

Seeing his shock on how just 2 or 3 years of brainwash in America managed to override a preceding 12 years of it in China, evidence of futility of Chinese education, I have a few thoughts on the matter. One, his kid is somewhat on the extreme end there; of course it didn’t help that he was put in schools full of rich white kids. Two, this has become a problem in China too, an invasion of toxic American liberal ideology. Banning Google and Facebook, and now also Reddit and Quora, is not enough. On how to solve this, I have a proposal, a rather unrealistic one at this point in time: change the de facto foreign language in China from English to Russian, China already had experience with that in the 50s and time has showed that Russian culture is more compatible with Chinese culture than the Anglo one. If China is going to secede from the world by walling off Jewish controlled Anglo media, it should do so full force, not half-heartedly.

## 中国本地人如何看待美国长大的华人

ArmorUSA老是跟我说我在中国由于我在美国长大会受到一些歧视和排斥，比我想象的会严重得多。但是，他个人还是有经历的，在北京工作过。有人知乎上私信给我，表示对我的支持，我就向ArmorUSA说

The last point is irrelevant. What matters is 会中文 and 爱国的.

## Role models for Chinese who grow up in America

Now that I am older with some time out of that shitty American education system, I can better appreciate how racist and emotionally destructive it is at its core for Chinese. Of course, I sort of knew all along that the “Asian” portrayals and stereotypes within the US school system and media bears little resemblance to the real one based in China. I mostly did what I could to ignore that and learn the real Chinese culture instead. For that, much thanks to Baidu and CCTV.

## Harvard’s discrimination against Asian-Americans

It was revealed last week or so that Harvard systematically rates Asian-Americans lower on personality, on subjective traits such as “positive personality,” likability, courage, kindness and being “widely respected.” I’m not surprised at all by this. Though they could have at least been a bit smarter about this by keeping this shit off the record. Now the investigators could actually reveal something about their process to the public that would undermine the institution’s credibility.